The Mission – April 2011
An Open Window to a New Life
A young mother of two young children endured years of verbal and physical abuse – until you gave her a second chance.
For years, Maria could only dream of peace and open windows. The man she lived with, fueled by drugs and alcohol, beat and berated her mercilessly. And he kept her nearly imprisoned in her own home. He was convinced an open window meant she was letting in other men – and he’d beat her again.
She begged her family for refuge. No one helped. She begged his family for help. They told her, “You have to go through a lot to make a relationship work.” Finally, in 2008, she had enough. She took her six-year-old son, Ricky, and one-year-old daughter, Cindy, and secretly moved into an apartment without telling anyone where she lived.
“But somehow he found us,” Maria recalls. “He was drunk and started beating me up in front of the kids. He slapped me against the wall and the toilet and whatever he could use to hurt me. Then he started choking me. “He threw me on the floor and I thought he was going to kill me.” Fortunately, the police arrived in time to save her. They encouraged her to leave the apartment and find someplace safe where she could stay and get long-term help. That’s when she turned to Hope Gardens Family Center.
Hope Gardens is a transitional housing and residential facility, in the foothills of the San Gabriel Mountains, that provides a safe environment and the long-term help moms and children experiencing homelessness need to get a fresh start.
“When we came to Hope Gardens, you should have heard my kids,” Maria says. “My son said, “Thank you, God! Thank you, God!” and my daughter said, “This is happiness, Mommy!” we felt safe. What else can you ask for?”
Since arriving at Hope Gardens, Maria has poured herself into classes about co-dependence, parenting, domestic violence, as well as individual therapy and Bible studies. Hope Gardens has given Maria and her children safety, the chance to heal and hope for their future.
“Hope Gardens isn’t a shelter,” she insists. “My kids call it home. Everyone cares about us here and they treat us like family. I want all the donors to know they put smiles on my children’s faces. They have given me the chance to keep my children safe and for me to become a better person. How wonderful can that be? I am so thankful.” And every day Maria opens her windows and listens to the wind blowing through the trees.
Return of the Prodigal Mom
When drugs and alcohol led Debra to walk away from her 10-year-old daughter, would she ever get a second chance?
Even at the age of 22, Debra was ill-prepared for motherhood. She could barely read or write, she never knew her father, her mother hated her, and she had no friends.
“Growing up, I was the girl everyone called ugly, ignorant, and stupid,” Debra recalls. By the time she gave birth to her daughter, Angel, in 1979, Debra had already endured an abortion, nearly died from syphilis, and was brutally raped. Nurturing love was never part of the picture. “I tried to raise Angel the best I could,” she says. “But I was drinking a lot and using speed so I could work enough hours to make some money. I was lost. And I just started leaving her with a babysitter more and more.
When Angel was eight, she asked Debra, “Mommy do you love me? How come you don’t talk to me anymore?”
That tore Debra apart. She knew she was putting Angel through the same emotional trauma she had grown up with – something Debra sore she would never do. “So I did the only thing I could,” Debra says through tears. “I gave her up to a foster family where I knew she would get the stability and love I couldn’t give her. I’ll never forget when we had to say goodbye. Angel said, ‘Mommy, it’s OK. Mommies are allowed to make mistakes because mommies are human too. You’ll get better.’”
Over the next 20 years, Debra continued to struggle with drugs, alcohol and homelessness, and Angel wanted little to do with her. But in November 2009, Debra finally found hope, recovery, and healing at Union Rescue Mission. She gave up drugs and alcohol, learned to read and write, experienced God’s healing love – and prayed ro find her daughter.
In the summer of 2010, her prayers were answered. She found Angel.
“I’m proud to say Angel and I are doing better than ever,” Debra says. “She talks to me like I’m her mother and asks for my advice! It’s like a dream. I’m so grateful for this chance to give Angel the love and support I should have given her all along. If it wasn’t for Union Rescue Mission, I wouldn’t have my daughter back in my life. She means everything to me and she’s everything I live for.”
Helping mothers like Maria and Debra is important to me. That’s probably because my own mother, Joanie, is a special mom. My dad taught me to stick up for justice – Mom showed me how to do it.
It was my mom who gave me an inflated self-esteem that causes me to take on the world. She dedicated me to the Lord when I was born, and from then on she made me think I could do anything. And she still tells me that.
I watched Mom run a thrift store when my dad worked at a mission. Her sensitivity and deep love for hurting people filled my own heart with that same care. And her fiery passion encouraged me to fight for them, too. And at the age of 75, she still volunteers for a clothing ministry at her church.
She’s the reason I care for the mothers here so much. And I am proud to say, Union Rescue Mission is the only rescue mission in Los Angeles that not only houses women and children but enables them to climb out of poverty and homelessness.
Blessings,
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Torontonian