The Mission: March 2011
Family Matters by Marty
How your generous support of Union Rescue Mission helped one addict learn what really matters.
Some people say that nothing is more important than family. For more than half my life, however, drugs were more important than mine.
I grew up in a Christian family. In fact, my dad was a minister – a minister who was so busy doing the Lord’s work, he didn’t have time to be a dad. I resented him, I rejected his rules, I rejected his religion – and I rebelled. I threw myself head-long into cocaine, and later methamphetamine.
By my mid-20’s, I had a $300-a-day habit – but I was making up to $200,000 a year in car sales and web design so I didn’t care. I talked to my mom regularlry and saw my dad and sisters occasionally, but mostly I avoided family gatherings. I kept them all at arms length.
In 2007 and 2008, my drug use caught up to me. I suffered two major heart attacks and couldn’t work much. Then the economy tanked and I quickly ran out of money. I ended up homeless in 2009, but I still wasn’t done with drugs. I scammed money from several people – even my own mom. By July 2009, however, I ran out of options. My heart was functioning at 20% capacity, I had no place to live, no job, no income, and no one would loan me money. Especially my family.
So in July 2009, I finally called my dad, who once worked at Union Rescue Mission, and asked him to bring me here. I started reading the Bible and following it. I took the classes and got into counseling. And I started to rediscover myself – not the drug guy, but the real Marty. Unfortunately, that meant I had to face all the ways I’d hurt my family and pushed them away for over 30 years.
At one time or another, every one of my family had said, “We don’t like you, Marty, but we will always love you.” That tore me up.
One day, I met my dad at Starbucks and thanked him for helping me get my life back. I had never seen him shed a tear before. But we cried together for two hours. Then I asked my mom to forgive me, and we cried. Today, I’ve been at Union Rescue Mission for a year and a half, and the Lord has blessed me with physical and spiritual health again.
I haven’t felt this good in 30 years. But most importantly, I have my whole family back. They visit me every week. Peace of mind and the love of my family – nothing matters more to me.
“ Marty is special, and I’m so proud of him …”
I knew what Marty was doing to himself, and it hurt me. He’d disappear for days or even months at a time. I’d often lie awake at night, imagining him sleeping on a park bench, in the rain, and without any food. And for a long time, I honestly thought I’d never get my brother back. I knew we were going to wake up to a phone call one night, and the police would say they found him dead. It wasn’t a matter of if we’d get the call, it was just a matter of when. But thanks to Union Rescue Mission, I did get my brother back. He’s come so far. Marty is special, and I’m so proud of him.
— Maryanne, Marty’s sister
“ God answered my prayer and led my son to Union Rescue Mission …”
I watched Marty struggle with drugs and alcohol almost his whole life. There were nights I cried so much I couldn’t sleep. For a while I thought I’d lost him. But I determined that I would never give up. I decided that whether it was 30, 50, or 80 years, I would pray for my son. My dying breath was going to be, “Lord, take care of him and get him back. Don’t let Satan have him.” And God answered. He led my son to Union Rescue Mission, and they saved him — both in this life and for eternity. Marty is part of our family again. Our Prodigal Son has returned.
— Kathy Jo, Marty’s mother
“ Thanks to Union Rescue Mission, I have my son back …”
I know I wasn’t a perfect father. Far from it. So watching Marty rebel and struggle with his addictions for all those years was devastating to me. I knew he was in trouble. But I really loved Marty. Years ago, he visited me when I was working at Union Rescue Mission. He asked me why I enjoyed working at the Mission so much, and I replied, “I’m getting the place ready for you when you’re ready.” Today, thanks to Union Rescue Mission, I have my son back, and we’re as close as a father and son can be. It is absolutely priceless what Union Rescue Mission has given to me and my family.
— Andy, Marty’s father
Resurrecting Families
I hope you enjoyed reading about Marty and his family in this issue of The Mission. It’s a remarkable picture of family love and reconciliation. But I’ll be honest, when I see Marty, I see more than a courageous man who found new hope and healing — I see one of my own sons.
Like Marty, my son is extraordinarily gifted and bright. But early on, he had issues with a father who worked so hard at his ministry, he didn’t have time to be a dad to his son. He rebelled and experienced trouble that could have led him down the same road Marty took — and ended up at Union Rescue Mission. Thankfully, by the grace of God and through the patient love of our family, my son worked through his issues and today is a special young man.
The love of family. Over the years, I’ve learned that the single most common denominator among people experiencing homelessness is that they’ve lost the love and support of family. This Easter, please remember that when Jesus rose again, he promised resurrection not just to individuals, but to families. And I encourage you to pray for the reconciliation of more families just like Marty’s.
Blessings,
